I found this photo of Denzy and his wife. Look how bummed out he is. All he’s thinking is, “I wonder what Nikki Walter is wearing today?” and the answer is cowboy boots, Denzel. Cowboy boots. C’mere, baby. I’m all yours.
How much you wanna bet the person who posted this (and linked to it on Twitter with the text “Denzel, your wife, WOOF!”) has previously lamented how people on the internet can be jerks? Or society’s oppresive standards of beauty? If you’re wondering why the world is a screwed-up place, here’s your answer.